2-3-4 Friday - Come now, it’s time to fall in love again
‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’
1 thought
Here’s a confession. I think I fell in love.
Oops. Ah, love, the great enigma. The stuff of love songs and poetry and books. We never seem to understand it.
But I’ve been struggling - because I think love, is a waste of time.
I could do much better things!
And maybe that’s how some of us see the activities we do for relationship - as a waste of productive time. Or we may assess a request to meet someone for its utilitarian value.
What will this person add to my life? How important is this person to my network?
But maybe not all things can be assessed by its utility. And you can’t tell how good or bad someone is until you allow yourself to love, and unlove the person.
This doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, but also to work relationships.
Every and any relationship requires risk. So it really isn’t about hedging against the risk, but about letting yourself fall into it.
Why do we stop ourselves from falling in love with others? Maybe we’re scared of getting hurt.
The solution isn’t to shy away from love. It’s to have, as Brene Brown says, a strong back and a soft front. It’s to have a heart that’s tender enough to love others, and yet also having the tenacity to walk on from the hurt that people cause you.
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“For me, that strong back is grounded confidence and boundaries. The soft front is staying vulnerable and curious.
The mark of a wild heart is living out these paradoxes in our lives and not giving into the either/or BS that reduces us. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, and, above all else, being both fierce and kind.”
- Brene Brown
1 tip
How do you have a strong back? I don’t have an easy answer, but one way is to get used to rejection. Constantly putting yourself in a position where people might say no might be an easy way to build the skill in bouncing back stronger.
Daily, when you pitch and offer something to someone, you’re putting yourself in a place where others might say no. You might ask a potential date out. He or she might say no.
P.S. Want to think differently about a problem you're facing? Let’s chat (and no worries, there's no fee!)
John
Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love