2-3-4 Friday - There’s no need to explain yourself 

‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’

 

1 thought

I’ve a relative who’s quite meddlesome. Whenever we meet, she would probe into what I’m doing, ask me what my plans are for the future, and actively discount my dreams. 

 

So it was no surprise that a recent message from her asking me to meet her left me feeling discomforted. 

 

I refused. But she insisted. 

 

I blocked her. 

 

Now now, you might say that’s nasty. 

 

I thought so too. But sometimes, I’ve come to realise that there’s no need to explain your discomfort to the offending party. 

 

It’s better to cut and let go. 

 

You’re not responsible for what the other person feels about your action. That’s their own problem. 

 

You’re responsible for yourself, how you feel, and how you act. 

If you know that something is going to make you uncomfortable, why continue taking time to justify someone else’s actions? Why be nice to someone who makes you discomforted? 

 

Realising that you have no need to explain yourself can be incredibly freeing. For the first time, you take greater ownership for your actions. You see the true impact of your actions and take them more seriously.

 

In the past, when you always had to explain yourself, you were giving yourself a chance to be persuaded to do otherwise. You were not responsible.

 

Explaining yourself is a cop-out for taking responsibility. If you were that assured of your actions, the only person you need to explain to is yourself. 

 

1 talk

You stop explaining yourself when you realize people only understand from their level of perception. 

Actor Jim Carrey

 

1 tip 

Mind you, I’m not advocating that you be selfish and mean.

 

But I’m saying that there are instances where you might need to take greater responsibility, rather than let your fears of what others might think or react limit what you do. 

 

Living under constraints from the perceptions of others helps us live in a generally ordered society, but something that can prompt greater disorder within ourselves. 

 

You are responsible for yourself, and no one else. 

 

No explanations needed there. 

 

P.S. Want to think differently about a problem you're facing? Let’s chat (and no worries, there's no fee!)

 

John

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