2-3-4 Friday 

‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’

1 thought

Some of you may have heard my story of mental distress before.

That in December 2015, whilst everyone was enjoying Christmas, I would take a chair up to the highest floor of the apartment block, stand on the chair, and wonder if I should flip myself over.

Or that in Feb 2016, not knowing what to do with my life, I stuffed myself with cakes, chocolates and cookies to fill the emptiness within me. 

And grew 8kg in 1 month.

Or that in October 2019, after returning from Nottingham University with a first-class honours, multiple awards, I promptly fell into depression and had to take antidepressants.

And again stuffed myself with food to fill the lack of purpose within me.

Why?

I’d reached the top, and found that there was nothing. 

And maybe today, you're chasing after things that you think might bring you greater happiness - better job, pay, home... 

That may not bring you as much pleasure as you'd like.

Slowly I’ve begun to realise that the essence of being human, is struggle. 

It’s striving amidst strife.

But very often we avoid pain like the plague, and try to optimise it out of our lives. If we could.

What if pain, was good though? What if those negative emotions you had weren’t a bad thing?

That means you optimise for pain, and not against it.

When I was much younger, I thought that I would be happy if I had everything - good results, good job, lots of money, and even more money… but later I realised that when I got that in Nottingham, in 2019, it was empty in and of itself.

So in life, maybe it’s better to seek challenge, rather than comfort.

1 talk

You can reach the top in life, and realise that there's nothing. 

1 tip 

Sounds crazy?

Not so much.  

Each time you feel like you’re being pushed to the limit, ask yourself if it’s good pain, or bad pain. Meaning - is this pain that’s in pursuit of a larger goal, or is this pain that can be removed?

For example, (and this example is not meant to demean people who enjoy housework), I hate doing the dishes.

Now you may argue that doing the dishes can help you to build resilience, grit, and perseverance. But for me, I would rather use that time to build something different.

For me, doing the dishes is bad pain. 

I would try to get rid of it and replace it with more ‘good’ pain. Like building a business. Having a difficult conversation with my colleague.

Grow through good pain, not bad pain. 
 

P.S. Want to think differently about a problem you're facing? Let’s chat (and no worries, there's no fee!)

John

Founder, liveyoungandwell.com