2-3-4 Friday
‘Seeking to spark the most potential
within you per word of any online newsletter’
1
thought
You’ve probably read quite
a bit of my efforts to get a life partner. Recently I was telling a friend about how someone wasn’t replying me.
He gave me two rules.
- Text according to the other party’s pace - if she replies in 3 days, you take 3 days. If it’s 3 hours - then 3 hours for you.
- Don’t double-text - if she doesn’t reply, don’t chase her.
Those are great guidelines.
But I was thinking through that recently and realised that the advice simply boiled down to one thing,
Play hard to get.
The problem is that this approach (at least for me), seems to be loving out of lack, rather than abundance.
You give only as much as you get back.
You give to get.
But that defeats the point of love. Before you throw your mouse at me and say this is dopey and airy-fairy, I think there’s a reason why this matters.
You don’t love because you expect something back in return. That’s not
love.
That’s a transaction.
You love - because you don’t know if you
will ever be repaid, and you do it anyway.
You may be wondering what this has to do with your personal lives, or even work.
Firstly, I think that if you find yourself bitter after giving, ask yourself why.
And stop giving. Just say no each time someone asks for something, until you feel ready again.
Thirdly, give because it’s a gift with no expectation of reciprocity.
1 talk
In giving situations, reciprocity is the exception, and not the expectation.
1 tip
Find yourself constantly wondering why someone isn’t treating you nicely after you’ve done something nice?
Yes, I’m talking about you.
Or me.
Giving to get is a real phenomenon. Where we think that it’s only when we give, that we get something in return.
Sometimes, this has to do with our past, where love was conditional.
The easiest way I’ve found myself overcoming is this.
Know your expectations, check your
expectations each time you give, and reset your expectations.
It’s not about having no expectations.
But it’s recognising that even when someone can’t meet them, you love them all the same.
Unconditionally.
John
Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love
Think others might benefit? I’m counting on you. Forward this on.