2-3-4 Friday - on recovering from self
doubt
‘Seeking to spark
the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’
Identifying details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
1 thought
Recently I worked with a teacher who changed her work setting.
After coming back from maternity leave.
She found herself in a new school with a new syllabus. And when she taught, students started dropping out.
The principal had to step in. And she found herself eventually told that there were no plans to extend her
contract.
She lost her confidence.
The bright, bubbly, teacher who loved students suddenly found herself bereft of confidence, and doubting herself.
When self doubt creeps in, and you begin questioning your every move, that’s when things start becoming difficult.
Very difficult.
You may have been there. Where you’ve a bad review from the boss, and you find yourself knocked off your feet. You’re not sure of your judgement. Whether what you do is actually the right thing.
That’s a bad place to be.
In my first job, after being issued with a
Performance Improvement Plan, I found myself suddenly doubting my every action. I would wonder whether making a call, sending a message to a client, was the right thing to do, especially when there was such a weight hanging over my shoulders.
I was scared to fail.
The solution?
It’s not to work harder. It’s to actually return to the basics. Cut out all the fluff, and go back to what you know. Pretend you were a student again. If you’re doubtful of anything, ask.
In these kind of situations, where your performance is being attended to more closely, you’re not going to be faulted for asking.
You’re faulted if you don’t ask, and get
something wrong.
The next solution
is to find your feet, with the small things again. Even when it seems small to you, celebrate it. Easier said than done.
But I really tried.
I would write down every small win, even if it was as small as
- Got to the office on time!
- Spoke to a colleague about her weekend!
- Went for lunch with colleagues!
It’s the small things that make the big wins.
1 talk
Why won’t you stop beating yourself up?
1 tip
For those returning to work after some time, it can also be scary.
In those cases, I think it’s helpful to phase your return.
1 day a week, before 2, before a full week.
Take small tasks.
Stop faulting yourself for the small things you do. Stop comparing yourself to the times when you were X or Y or Z. Doing this and that.
Come on.
It’s a different phase of your life. Not
necessarily a more difficult phase, but a different phase.
Faulting yourself for how you’re just doing simple lab work, rather than cutting edge research, may not be the best way to encourage yourself.
Come on.
You don’t have to beat yourself with a stick.
John
Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love
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