2-3-4 Friday - How to be the person people love

Seeking to spark the most potential per word of the web

1 thought

Watch Piyush Gupta, the CEO of DBS Bank (read more about their transformation here), Singapore’s largest bank by assets, and you would be struck by the sheer affability of the man.

In simpler words, how likeable he is.

At the Annual General Meeting yesterday, a shareholder asked,

What keeps you up at night?

He pauses for a moment, seemingly thinking hard.

Then he quips,

My chairman.

He places a friendly arm on Peter Seah, seated beside him, and laughs,

My chairman, he keeps me up at night.

The auditorium full of people laughs.

You would think that a banker would be hard-charging, focused, and hard-to-like. At least that might be your impression, after the media’s report of them as responsible for things like the Global Financial Crisis.

Or when you read reports of their salaries, you might find them hard to like. Especially when you might be a social care professional surviving on $4100 per month.

How important is it to be likeable? And is it possible to increase one’s likeability?

I think so. But first off, why should one even bother being likeable?

The most important reason might be because it smoothens the wheels of work.

Being likeable may sometimes be seen as manipulative, especially when you see others going on a charm offensive. You might see them offering to make tea for their boss, following their boss around to offer help, and seeming like a bootlicker.

But is it possible to do it from a place of genuine desire to help?

Yes, but that requires you to be aware of what others need, rather than what you need. Being likeable, is about giving what others need.

Not what you need.

When you examine the place from which you’re giving, you might find yourself wanting to give more, out of a place of good, rather than a place of need.

1 talk

Why do people like spending time with you?

1 tip

Let’s make it practical. How do you extend and expand your personal charisma, or ability to be liked?

Everyone has their personal style, and I think it’s about first asking yourself an important question,

Why do people actually like you, that makes them want to meet you,

and keep meeting you?

Do they enjoy you for your ability to make jokes? To come up with a special gift? To say something insightful?

Awareness is key.

Once you know why people like you, focus on that.

Don’t focus on why people don’t like you, because you can’t make everyone like you. Nor should you try.

Doing so will result in you being flippant and people-pleasing, rather than strong and self-assured.

Let me know how that goes.

John

Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love