2-3-4 Friday 14 June 2024

‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’

1 thought

Here’s a question.

Do you think people trust you?

No, really. Do people trust you? And do you know why they trust you?

Recently, I was at a training with Tong Yee, of And. We were asked to go on an exercise to explore how much people trusted us.

Imagine you were in a group of strangers. Like a networking event. You’re walking around.

You get to stare in the person’s eyes for a few moments, as long as you’d like.

Based off that interaction, you decide whether or not you would like to speak more to him.

If you look at what happens in most events where you meet strangers, this is what happens.

1. You stand at the edge of the room.
2. You’re watching people walk. Maybe you’re looking whether they carry themselves with an air that suggests that they are big and boastful. Or if their handbag looks jarring and off-putting. Or even if their fashion looks great.

Back to the trust exercise I had with And. After looking at the person’s eyes, you paste a sticker at the back of their shirts about whether you trust them or not.

1. Red - you wouldn’t trust the person
2. Orange - you aren’t sure
3. Green - you trust the person

You continue to mingle for the next 7 minutes, all the while pasting stickers on the person’s back.

How many stickers do you think you would get?

Pause there for a moment before you carry on. Because if you looked at your workplace, you might think that most trust you, only to realise that perhaps none do.

1 talk

Why do people trust you?

1 tip

I thought I would get 80% of strangers trusting me.

Then 15% not knowing whether they would trust me. And 5% not.

Turns out, 7 in 15 people who pasted stickers on my back wouldn’t trust me.

That was useful data. It crushed me.

But of greater use was perhaps understanding why people wouldn’t trust me. Or you, for that matter.

This matters because whatever you do to move, shift, and change something, how successful you are ultimately depends on how much trust and power people give you.

So two questions you might think through:

1. How much trust and power are people giving you, in the different roles you play?
2. What’s the reason behind the power and trust they are giving/not giving you?

Let’s make this a little more practical.

1. Partner
   1. If you notice yourself having fights with your partner (inevitable, of course), then you might want to ask - does my partner trust that I want the best for our relationship? Or has it degraded to suspicion?
2. Colleagues
   1. If you notice yourself being unable to push through ideas, you might want to ask - what’s the fear here? Why don’t they trust this idea and its potential?

Let me know how those questions go.

John

Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love

Think others might benefit? I’m counting on you. Forward this on.