2-3-4 Friday
‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’
1 thought
The 6 remaining candidates for the only Kingsmen position are
having a test. In this test, they are supposed to parachute out of the plane.
But the tester tells them that out of the 6 of them, one of them doesn’t have a parachute. They are supposed to work together to ensure the safety of the
group.
Most of the candidates are from aristocratic, rich families, except for one of them, Eggsy.
They are close to dying, but Eggsy pulls out a last ditch effort to save them.
When they finally land successfully, Eggsy assumes he’s the one without the parachute. He goes to the tester and
demands,
why did you choose me as the gimp?
Am I the disposable candidate?
The tester goes to Eggsy and whispers in his ear,
take that chip off your shoulder,
before proceeding to pull on the handle, releasing his parachute.
Take that chip off your shoulder.
Do you have a chip on your shoulder?
Well, I do.
For a long time, I was the
petulant child who kept pouting and saying,
why always me?
Why are people always picking on me?
I kept thinking that people were being hard on me, and giving me a hard time, just because things were not falling in place for me. I would think of excuses like:
- Oh maybe I wasn’t from a rich family.
- I wasn’t from a great school.
I was always placing the blame on others, rather than looking at myself.
Doing this is dangerous because it makes you feel powerless and helpless in your situation. For anything to improve or
change in your life, you must feel some sense of control, ownership, and the hope that things would change for the better.
Sitting in self-pity can be tempting, but it’s not going to help in the longer run. If you want things to improve, you need to get that chip off your shoulder.
The question then is,
how?
1 talk
Self pity serves you.
1 tip
There’s some place for staying angry when you perceive an injustice against you. You feel that you should have been treated in some way, but you
weren’t given what you hoped for.
In November 2024, I faced this when I was asked to leave immediately, without any recourse. Clearly my employers wanted me out of the company immediately, but there was still due process to follow.
I could have sat and sobbed in self-pity, and I did consider doing this for some time.
But doing that would change nothing. The company didn’t want me there, and there was little I could do to change that.
I moved back into business, and continued grinding out more sales.
Compare this reaction to 8 years ago, when I wanted to enter medical school. I couldn’t because of my grades, and when I finally found out that I could
not, I wanted to end my life.
When it turned out that I didn’t have the courage to end my own life, I stuffed myself with food.
I was stuck in self-pity, not wanting to pick myself up and move on.
Self-pity is a dangerous game, because our mind tells us that it’s okay to be ‘kinder to yourself’
because of what you’ve faced. When I used to work with clients as a rehab counsellor trying to help those with mental health conditions to move back into work, I realised that many of them were stuck because of self-pity.
They felt they had been unfairly treated, and they stayed with that dead-end narrative.
I have been unfairly treated, and I deserve
better.
This keeps the outcome out of your hands, and instead leaves it in the hands of someone else.
So how do you take back control?
Firstly, simply diagnosing if this is happening for you can be a big step forward.
Secondly, spot other difficulties you’ve faced in the past, where you’ve still moved forward. What was it about those times that made you dust yourself off, and move on?
That’s where you will find your own agenda for power, and pick yourself up again.
Remember, tough times don’t last, tough people do.
John
Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love
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