2-3-4: Feel frustrated and resigned to fate? Try this
Published: Sun, 08/17/25
Updated: Sun, 08/17/25
Want to just 'lie flat', like what the modern Chinese phenomenon is like? Try this.
2-3-4 Friday
‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’
1 thought
Recently, I was at a dialogue organized by a government agency called REACH, that was seeking to create a heat map of emotions within Singapore.
They wanted to understand where heated emotions were, and to map them, and address them before they eventually
became greater fault lines.
What was interesting for me seated there, amongst other youths, was how much
frustration there was.
Amongst some of the feedback were:
in my office, I’m the only one who does work. No one else does.
I’m working so hard and getting peanuts.
I don’t think future generations will afford a home.
What was interesting for me was how much the conversation tended towards things we feel we are owed.
Good jobs. Reasonable pays. Homes.
As the conversation wore on, I could see some of the behaviors
result.
I’m not sure there’s any point working so hard anyway, when I will never get what I want.
So maybe a question for you today is,
what do you think your government, or society owes you?
You might think this is a big question, and you wonder what the point of this particular question is.
It’s because if you think you’re owed something, you’re less likely to do something about it.
You’ll be stuck in
frustration, rather than finding the determination to do something.
Frustration vs determination. Many often think these are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but because they are so closely related to the emotions that result from hard work, determination to work hard can quickly boil over to frustration.
It’s a fine line, but it’s an important line.
As I sat there, I wondered why I hadn’t felt any of their emotions.
I had taken home $900 for the past 4 years of running a business, and yet I was not frustrated. Instead I was highly motivated to keep fighting
harder.
Why?
What was the difference? I think the answer is purpose.
1 talk
When the money doesn’t work out, what drives you is purpose.
1 tip
You see it most clearly in parents. The kid cries, you’ve to clean up after smelly diapers, receive the worst behavior from your kids, and still you would give everything you have for your child.
Why?
Because love becomes your purpose.
Living in a complex world
today, perhaps we can learn from parents, who love unconditionally, and who never let their disappointments with their child, boil over to frustration, resignation, and cynicism.
You hardly ever hear a parent say,
what’s the point of parenting my children? It’s pointless anyway.
Instead you see them trying everything they know, approaching experts, just so they learn.
We would do well to learn from them. How?
In the work, society and jobs
you might not like as much, perhaps it’s useful to just ask,
even if this seems utterly meaningless, what’s the smallest level of change and impact I might make to someone’s life with this piece of work?
You might work in a bank. You’re just crunching numbers. Or typing code. If you’re dissociated and far away from seeing the customer impact, perhaps it might be helpful to go out to the open, talk to a customer, and see what really happens.
All work and
suffering has meaning and purpose. We just have to look for it.