Granted, Nathanael has Asperger’s.
When I spoke to him last Sunday, it was interesting to hear his perspective on how to resolve the train breakdowns that Singapore has had over the years.
He taught me terms like ‘peak shaving’, or how
SMRT has matched the departure of trains to coincide precisely with when the next batch of commuters walk over from the connecting train.
But more importantly, when asked why he was doing this, the reason he provided was simple.
Because no one else is doing it.
He provides an
interesting example of what can happen when one person takes ownership for big problems, through small actions.
In many ways, this reflects the work you do as therapists, social workers, teachers, and those who work in the helping profession. You do it even though it’s not well-paid, and even though little change can be immediately seen.
It’s the idea that by
doing something for the least of us, we are effecting profound change onto society.
I confess. For a long time after I left social work, I struggled to see where the real impact lay, in helping those who had the least in society. Was raising the bottommost rung of society really so important?
And I realise the answer is yes, because those rags to riches stories,
bring newfound hope to complex systems.
The rags to riches story that plays out day after day in the schools, social work, medical settings that we are a part of remind us of the resilience of systems. That even people who fall, can bounce back up again.
Today you might struggle to see the continued point of your work. And you might even be losing hope in what
you do, especially when you see how little change ever seems to happen. Whilst the responsibility to change does not lie on you, the hope you bring to the system does not only bring your clients hope.
It brings you hope.
1 talk
When you lift one, you end up lifting the whole
boat.
1 tip
Don’t believe me?
Look at the last ‘successful’ client you had. I remember the last client I had who was suicidal, and close to death when he called me. That night, he had wanted to take an overdose of pills, so that he could slip into death.
Fortunately, he was too scared of what death held, and called the counseling hotline.
And over the 11 months working with him, he gently changed to become more confident, and even found a new career as a fitness professional.
None of this was easy. But it showed a beautiful transformation, that I used to give myself
hope.
Why help people? Why bother working so hard for people who don’t bother, who never appreciate you, and even abuse you?
Some do it for the love of the craft, but today, you might really struggle to come up with reasons to continue doing the painful work you do of healing and restoring painful situations.
Perhaps it’s worth doing because each time you do it, you demonstrate an active choice to love, even when it’s not worth it.
And in loving people who can never return it, you build in yourself a strength to conquer ever-more difficult things.
Don’t believe me? Believe Adam Grant.
In his book ‘Give and Take’, Grant wondered whether givers (those who often give more than they receive), or takers (who aggressively chase what they want), are more successful.
He shares a study of medical school students in Belgium.
“The students with the lowest grades had unusually high scores on giver statements like “I
love to help others” and “I anticipate the needs of others.” The givers went out of their way to help their peers study, sharing what they already knew at the expense of filling gaps in their own knowledge, and it gave their peers a leg up at test time.
Guess who landed on the top? You might be surprised.
Givers.
Adam Grant argues that when takers win, there’s someone else that loses.
In contrast, when givers win, people are rooting for them and supporting them, rather than gunning for them.
“Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them. You’ll see that the difference lies in
how giver success creates value, instead of just claiming it.”
When you help others, you don’t just lift one.
You lift the whole boat.
John
Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love
