2-3-4 Friday: How to give your power away

‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’

1 thought

Please don’t read this if you don’t like hard-hitting truths that slapped me across the face this week.

In Singapore, it can be hard to find people who do give a damn - and do something fruitful with it.

We are, unfortunately, blessed in Singapore with a good government. But when you’re this blessed, it becomes harder for you to care. After all, it looks like someone else (like the government) is always going to pick up your shit. Pardon my language.

Often I think back about the cleaner I met when I was working at a Coworking space called Crane. He was a friendly face, and he would often pass me biscuits, sweets, and whatever he got from home. He would even buy soya bean drinks from me with his hard earned money, which was not much.

His salary was $1400 a month. He had one son, one wife, and a small home.

Considering the average cost of living for a 4-person household is estimated at $6,693 for a couple with two children aged 7­–12 and 13–18 years old, he was struggling.

Yet he would still give freely, without asking for anything in return.

But once, he complained about what pissed him off.

They were users of the space, and the toilet, who could not be bothered with keeping the space clean. They would urinate over the floor, stuff the overflowing bin with yet more stuff (or throw the trash on the floor), and seemingly betray the attitude:

this is the cleaner’s job, not mine.

Why should I think about it?

Yes, good question. Not your job, why bother?

Not your space, why care?

Because your pessimism and cynicism can spread.

And you can get stuck in your narrative of self-pity and externalizing the blame.

Why say this?

Firstly, because I was the prime example of this. I would blame employers for not giving me a chance and hiring me. I would blame the system for not recognising a talent like me (don’t roll your eyes, it’s true). I would blame my family for not believing in me.

But it never got me a job. Things finally changed when I was willing to accept my own self-sabotage, by giving power to others, and finally taking responsibility for what was happening.

There was some fault with the system, but the fault was primarily mine.

Secondly, over the last month, as I’ve sat in more government dialogues, I’ve realised that many do expect the government to step in, into many spheres of their lives.

Amongst some of the ideas I’ve heard:

1. Government should have a universal basic income for artists.
2. Government should control more foreign professionals coming in, and still keep Singapore competitive.

Nothing wrong with these ideas, but I often wonder whether they solve the problems on hand.

Over the years running a business, I’ve come to learn

1. No one can take the initiative to solve your own problems but you.
2. Expecting someone else to solve your problem will leave you feeling even more frustrated.

1 talk

Care about something intimately, and place that cause in front of people who can change things, so they are aware.

1 tip

I’m sorry to say this, but as gently as I can …

no one is going to pick up your shit.

Yesterday, as I sat listening to the artists ask for a universal basic income from a member of government, I wondered what differentiated artists from cleaners, or cooks.

Should they have a basic income too?

Being an artist, an entrepreneur, a whatever, is our own personal choice. 

We go in knowing the risks involved, and we still choose to do it. So how can we expect someone else to prop up the consequences of our choice? How can we enjoy the rewards, and still expect someone else to deal with the risks?

We always have a choice. Between self-pity and self-leadership.

Yes, there are places where it’s a shared responsibility. Like child protection and how the authorities can put in place better regulation and systems so that the system does not fail.

But if you’re a social worker, or working in the social care industry, maybe it also works if you take it up with the government members who have influence. Lobby them, email them, don’t let go.

Because the moment you stop caring, then the system fails. Slowly - but definitely.

And expecting someone else to speak on behalf of you, and expecting the system to change so it better suits you, is a tad too big an expectation.

So if it bothers you, talk to someone of power about it. Keep talking about it. Raising suggestions. Until something changes.

Else, we would end up like the increasing number of democracies led by strongmen leaders, who take the power you give them, and further polarize our societies.

John

Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love