2-3-4 Friday: What we fear losing

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Much of success in life, is learning where to direct your energy. And if something is not working, we often make the mistake of directing more energy to it, rather than choosing to walk away.

In a job I had, I used to spend huge amounts of energy worrying, fighting, and trying to think about how to get my ideas passed. I would strategize and plan, write long memos, but ultimately, when push came to shove, I would see my idea come to nothing. In fact, I was criticized for thinking too much of these new ideas, and not thinking about the small jobs.

I was copied in long emails about how I couldn’t work in teams, and shamed publicly about my inabilities. It was painful, and I often spent time trying to defend myself, worried that I would be sacked.

Then one day, someone told me,

John, why don’t you actually direct your energy at something that generates more excitement for you?

That was a turning point. In June 2020, I ended up incorporating a company, and then channeling my energy there.

So much of life is learning how to conserve your energy, and where to direct it. But the first thing to be aware of is what is sapping your energy, and choosing to wind that down. Or choosing to conserve the amount of energy you’re spending on it.

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Our energies are limited. So recognizing what is sapping our energy, and then re-channeling our energy to what’s working, might actually work better.

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Why don’t we better channel our energy, and wind down what’s not working? Part of it is due to our immense fear of grief. We rather hold on to something, even though we know it’s not working out.

You see this all the time in painful relationships, jobs, and items that we choose to hold tightly onto.

One person who inspires me is Nick, who we wrote the memoir of. Talk to him, and you’d immediately think that he’s clinical, and heartless.

A few years ago, when one of his subsidiaries refused to take on more LCL shipping (shipping containers that were less than full), he asked another unrelated agent to take those containers. That sounds stupid. You give the business you can earn under your own subsidiary, to another party.

But when he spoke about it, it clearly hurt him. But he owned the disappointment of seeing his subsidiary’s failings, and moved on. He chose not to dwell on it.

He grieved the loss, and decided to find a solution. He did not stay stuck.

Sometimes in our lives, when we find ourselves stuck, we end up afraid to tear off the plaster. We choose to keep it on, even though it’s already falling off. The plaster is old, peeling off, and we keep trying to stick it back on.

What do we fear losing?

John

Live Young, Live Well - Work Your Love

P.S. 

Check the book we wrote on Nick